First, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia came for golf, and I did not speak out, because it’s for men named Chad who want to network while supporting the manufacturers of boat shoes. Then Saudi Arabia came for Newcastle United, and I did not speak out, because frankly it was Newcastle United. Actually, Saudi Arabia already had Formula One racing, but that was a natural fit between those who produce oil and the pastime that most conspicuously torches it. By the time they came for Cristiano Ronaldo he too seemed largely made of hydrocarbon polymer, though he is biodegrading faster.