“This is why you should make your home a sarcasm-free zone. Your words weigh too much. Dispense with humor that lands at the kid's expense. Or their friend's.

Your words weigh too much.

It doesn't matter that you were kidding. That you didn't really mean it. That you were just trying to be funny. Sarcasm is a power play. It's a power play that insecure men play.”

“Lying breaks a relationship, and we didn't want our relationships with our children broken. And lying dishonors the person being lied to.

In both instances, the relationship is in jeopardy.

We taught our kids that when you can't believe what you hear from another person, everything is off balance. The relationship is damaged.

• How can I trust you this time if you lied last time?

• How can I take your word for it if you don't always stick to your word?

We could correct bad behavior. We could handle disrespect. But lying? There are no relational work-arounds for that. Lying signals an end to the relationship. It represents an impasse. Relationally speaking, it is the worst thing you can do.” - Sandra Stanley, Page 71-72

“Monica was overprotective… she constantly coddled Trey and excused every poor behavior with, "Oh, he's so tired," or "Well, that wasn't his fault because…”

Her coddling followed him into his school years, with Monica being every teacher's worst nightmare. A bad grade? She marched down to the school to explain why Trey deserved a higher score. A fight on the playground? "Not his fault…

Monica was a helicopter mom before we had a name for it. The older Trey got, the worse his offenses became. But Monica and Steve never let Trey experience the consequences of his behavior. By high school they were running interference between him and the law…

Here's what I learned: Providing a buffer between our kids and the natural consequences they should experience is a gross disservice to them.

…don't deprive them of their chances to learn from their mistakes.” - Sandra Stanley, Page 50

“You're in a relationship with your kids, but it is not the same relationship. If your north star is a mutually satisfying relationship with your adult children someday, don't abdicate your role along the way. Standing your ground will create tension. Choose to live with it. Learn to manage it. Don't attempt to eliminate it. Just as tension is required to build physical strength, the unavoidable tension between parents and their children builds relational strength. Resolving it now will cost you later.” - Andy Stanley

“Your refusal to play the role of friend will pave the way for an adult friendship down the road. Your refusal to change your mind in the face of their tirades will be appreciated, applauded, and perhaps emulated later.” - Andy Stanley

“At some point, your kids may attempt to seize control. Sometimes overtly. Sometimes covertly. That's what kids do. It's what you did. When that tension begins to characterize your relationship with one of your children, remember, they don't really want control. They don't really want to be in charge. They're attempting a coup they secretly hope fails in the end. So remain seated. Don't abdicate your unique position.” - Andy Stanley