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The secret to desire in a long-term relationship | Esther Perel | TED

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  • Feb 14, 2013
www.youtube.com
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149,299 19 min
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In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs:... Show More

In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.

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Jason Scott Montoya @JasonSMontoya · Dec 12, 2024
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"A crisis of desire is often a crisis of imagination." - Esther Perel
Jason Scott Montoya @JasonSMontoya · Dec 12, 2024
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"In my community of Holocaust survivors, there were two groups; those who didn't die and those who came back to life. And those who didn't die lived often very tethered to the ground, could not experience pleasure, could not trust, because when you're vigilant, worried, anxious, and insecure, you can't lift your head to go and take off in space and be playful and safe and imaginative. Those who came back to life were those who understood the erotic as an antidote to death. They knew how to keep themselves alive." - Esther Perel
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