This short accessible book is a must-have guide through the social construction of masculinity and femininity and the harms to self, society and community that we all accept in exchange for propping them up. It is sadly prescient and relevant on school shooters, terrorist attacks and the daily violence of rape and sexual violence; theorizing some men’s entitled rage when they cannot pass through the masculinity checkpoints that society expects. This is a book to contextualize the rise of incels, anti-feminist men’s movements and the religion that is misogyny online.